Often, we believe that in order to feel better, we need to eliminate discomfort—whether it’s anxiety, sadness, or fear. But what if I told you that there’s another way? What if we could actually learn to live alongside those feelings, without letting them control us?
We often try to avoid or suppress painful thoughts and emotions. But the more we try to escape them, the more they can hold us back. Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or ACT helps us break that cycle.
ACT is a cognitive-based therapy that centers around accepting yourself exactly as you are in this moment in an effort to make a change. It’s about accepting the stuff you can’t control—like your thoughts and feelings—while channeling your energy into actions that resonate with your core values, even when discomfort arises. It’s not about ‘fixing’ yourself; it’s about creating psychological flexibility to manage life’s inevitable challenges.
ACT is grounded in mindfulness—this idea that we can notice our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without getting lost in them. You’re not your thoughts. You’re not your emotions. You’re the person experiencing them. By cultivating this mindful awareness, you can create space between yourself and your internal experience.
First, let’s talk about acceptance. This doesn't mean liking everything you feel or think—it means acknowledging them and making space for them. We learn to befriend our emotions vs suppressing them. For example, If you're feeling anxious, instead of fighting it, you say, ‘Okay, I see you, anxiety.’ We create a greater understanding of the purpose of our emotions, because often times they are appropriate reactions to a struggle we are facing.
Acceptance can feel vulnerable, but it’s through this vulnerability that we unlock true emotional freedom. When we stop fighting ourselves, we open up the possibility of moving forward, even in the presence of discomfort.
Next on the list is cognitive defusion. Many of us are intertwined with our thoughts - that our thoughts and our feelings say something about who we are. But we are so much more than how we feel or what we think - they are just part of our experience, not the whole of it.
The main goal here is to be in the seat of the observer. For example, instead of thinking, ‘I am anxious,’ you might notice, ‘I am having the thought that I’m anxious.’ Or if you’re thinking, “I’m not good enough”, try shifting to “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.” This small shift helps you detach from the emotional grip of that thought and changes your relationship with it. It also recognizes that the thought is not part of your identity it's just part of your experience.
But here’s the thing: accepting your thoughts and emotions is only part of the equation. The real magic comes when we commit to actions that are aligned with our values. So, finally, we reach a “commitment to values-based action”. What matters most to you? What kind of person do you want to be, regardless of the discomfort in your life?
ACT is about building a life that’s meaningful, not by avoiding pain, but by creating a greater capacity to hold difficult emotions and moving forward with values-based action. It’s about giving yourself permission to be human, to experience all of life’s emotions, and to live fully, even when things feel difficult.
So, if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your values, ACT might be a great tool on your healing journey. It’s not about eliminating pain, but about embracing the fullness of life—whatever comes your way.
Be present, curious and keep moving forward.
Interested in exploring ACT and taking the next step? Get in touch with the Beacon Psychotherapy team today to learn more or Request Your Therapy Appointment online today.
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