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How cognitive distortions keep you stuck in negative thinking

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Have you ever stopped to think about the way you are thinking? Or wondered if everyone thinks a certain way or why your thoughts are always negative? Oftentimes when we are feeling stressed, anxious or depressed our thoughts get more twisted and distorted creating an already difficult situation even more bleak.  


Cognitive distortions are biased, irrational, or negative thought patterns that influence the way we perceive situations, ourselves, and the world. They tend to make things seem worse than they actually are. These distortions, or thinking traps, tend to reinforce feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by filtering reality in a way that exaggerates negative aspects while minimizing or ignoring the positive. Sometimes, we get so used to thinking this way, we don’t even realize we're doing it.


In Cognitive-Behavioral therapy (CBT), we learn to identify and challenge these distortions. CBT helps you recognize how you thoughts, emotions, and actions are interconnected. The goal is to break free from these unhelpful patterns, so that you can start thinking in a way that is more helpful and healthy. CBT teaches skills to reframe negative thoughts, manage stress, and develop better ways of coping.

Here are some common cognitive distortions:


  1. Personalization → “They haven’t responded to me, so they must be mad at me.” This happens when we take the blame for things outside our control or thing that everything is somehow related to or about you. You internalize a situation and take responsibility for something that may have no connection to you. This leads to unnecessary guilt and self-blame. 




  1. Emotional Reasoning → “I feel like I’ll be bad at it, so I probably will be.” This happens when we believe our emotions are reality. This can lead to distorted thinking, because it confuses feelings with facts. Feelings are valid, but not always objective. 




  1. All or nothing thinking → “If I don’t do it perfectly, then I’m a failure.” Also known as “black and white thinking”. This happens when we leave no room for nuance or complexity. Things are rarely all good or all bad and this thinking makes it hard to appreciate your strengths and progress when you are only thinking in extremes. 


  1. Catastrophizing → “What if I mess up? I’ll lose my job and be homeless!” This happens when we jump to the worst possible conclusion in every scenario. This leads to feelings of overwhelming anxiety and makes situations look far more bleak than they actually are. It often leads to procrastination or avoidance due to fear of failure. 




  1. Overgeneralization → “You never help around the house” or “This always happens to me.” This happens when you make broad, sweeping conclusions about a single event. This leads to feelings of hopelessness, because it creates a negative thinking pattern based on isolated events, making it hard to see positive outcomes.




  1. Discounting the positive → “They are only being nice to me, they don’t really mean it.” This happens when we minimize or dismiss positive experiences and achievements. You downplay any positive feedback, never allowing yourself to feel successful. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. 




  1. Jumping to Conclusions or Mind Reading → “They are ignoring me, because they don’t like me anymore.” This happens when we make a negative assumption and interpret a situation or event based on our fears. Two common forms are mind reading (assuming you know what others are thinking - often negative) and fortune telling (predicting a negative outcome with no evidence).


  1. Should Statements → “He should know how I feel.” This happens when we have rigid or unrealistic expectations of how something “should be” or how someone “should” behave. This often leads to frustration and disappointment because these rules and standards can be difficult or impossible to meet.


All of us experience these thinking traps, it’s just a matter of how consuming or debilitating they become that make them problematic and distressing. If you are curious about creating better self-awareness, reach out to one of our therapists today to start your journey of self-discovery.




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