If you're feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or just… stressed out, there’s a scientific reason behind that.
I’m Brooklyn and I’m a licensed therapist and I want to talk to you today about Polyvagal Theory. It’s really powerful, and it’s going to help you make sense of what’s happening in your body when you feel overwhelmed.
Our nervous system is constantly working in the background, helping us respond to the world around us—whether we're feeling safe or in danger.
Polyvagal Theory was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, and it helps us understand the physiological responses that influence our emotions, behaviors, and ability to connect with others. It focuses on the vagus nerve, which is one of the most important pathways in our body’s parasympathetic system, the system responsible for calming us down after stress.
Dr. Porges identified three primary states of the nervous system, which he refers to as the three neural circuits. These circuits help us understand how we respond to safety, danger, or life-threatening situations. The first state is our social engagement system, which is activated when we feel safe and connected to others.
When we feel safe, our body can engage in calm, connected behaviors. We feel present, grounded, and able to connect with others. Our vagus nerve supports this connection by helping regulate our heart rate and breathing. In this state, our body is in its most relaxed and open position. This is the state we function best in, where we can think clearly, relate to others, and respond flexibly to life’s challenges.
Now, the second state is when we experience a mobilization response. This happens when we perceive a threat. Our body shifts into a state of heightened alertness, preparing us to either confront the danger or escape from it. In this state, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in, causing our heart rate to rise, our muscles to tense, and our breathing to become shallow.
While this fight-or-flight response can be helpful in real danger, in our modern lives, it can become triggered by stressors that aren’t life-threatening—like work pressures, conflict in relationships, or even anxiety. This can leave us feeling on edge or overwhelmed.
And finally, there’s the shutdown response, which is activated when we feel like there’s no way out of a situation—when the danger feels too much to handle. Our body essentially ‘shuts down,’ and we may feel immobilized, numb, or disconnected. This is our body’s way of conserving energy in response to extreme stress, often seen in trauma or prolonged stress situations. This is a last-ditch survival mechanism when the other options no longer feel available and you feel like you just need to check out to survive this.
Any of these sound familiar? If so, let me know in the comments.
The beauty of Polyvagal Theory is that it gives us a deeper understanding of these responses. It reminds us that these reactions aren’t something we choose—they are deeply wired into our biology.
The good news? You can reset your nervous system. When we understand our nervous system’s natural patterns, we can use tools like deep breathing, mindfulness, grounding techniques, and self-soothing practices to help us move back into the social engagement system—the place where we feel safe, connected, and able to respond effectively to life’s challenges.
Take care of your nervous system, and it will take care of you.
Polyvagal Theory helps us see that our bodies are always doing their best to keep us safe, even when we feel overwhelmed. And when we recognize what’s happening in our nervous system, we can begin to take steps to soothe ourselves and restore balance.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling triggered or overwhelmed, take a moment to check in with your body. Notice how your nervous system might be responding. And remember, it’s okay to feel these things. What matters is knowing that with practice, you can guide yourself back to a place of safety and connection.
If you’d like to learn more, I’m here to guide you through tools and practices that can help.
Be gentle with yourself on your healing journey.
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